Several weeks ago a told the story of a Bible College professor who liked to use object lessons to make his classes more memorable.  One morning he placed a huge bull’s eye target on the board and encouraged his students to draw someone’s face on the target; someone they would enjoy throwing darts at.  Some the students put ex-boy friends; others put siblings or other people who had hurt them.  Then they threw the darts with lots of enthusiasm.  When they were done the Professor took the bull’s eye down to reveal a picture of Jesus underneath.  Then the teacher simply quoted Jesus, before dismissing the class, “Whatever you did to the least of these, you did to me!”

In that sermon, several weeks ago, I was attempting to explain how we do unity from Ephesians 4.

Ephesians 4:1-3 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

One part of our keeping the unity of the Spirit is how we treat each other.  It is not our job to create unity.  Unity happens when we respond in baptism.  The Spirit adds us to Jesus’ Church and that is unity.  We become the family of God. But it is our job to foster an atmosphere which allows this Spirit-created unity to grow and flourish into this bond of peace; a tangible, taste-able, sixth-sense kind of connection.  It is our job to treat each other in a way that promotes this peace and unity.  Part of that job is not throwing darts at each other; be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love, bearing with one another in love. Not throwing darts.

It’s to that thought I want to return this morning and expand this idea of dart throwing in more detail.  Since I have preached the how to do unity sermon a month ago, this idea has kept resurfacing again and again in my thinking. I guess this is because I need this sermon.  But I suspect I am not the only one here this morning who needs to hear what I am calling the Dart sermon.  I bet there is one other person here today who needs this sermon. 

I want to use darts as an analogy to help us understand how to live worthy in treating each other. Let me begin with a definition of throwing darts.  A dart is “words which impact the heart.”  I suspect most of our talking has very little impact on the heart.  “Hey, how you doing?”  “I’m fine.” “What’s up?” “How’s life treating you?”  Those kind of words have little impact on our hearts, but there are all kinds of words which cut straight to the heart.  The dart nails us right in the center of our hearts and it leaves a mark. 

It is the old, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”  I suspect everyone who has ever said that knew that it was untrue even as they said it.
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Let me list several kinds of darts and explain them briefly and then we will see what we can do about them.

Tone of voice Darts
Let me begin with my least favorite category of darts; the tone of voice dart.  That is all I need to say.  Every woman here knows exactly what I am talking about and most of us men are going, “What? You can’t count that as a dart. That’s not fair!”  I have to admit that it is a dart.  Often times it is the tone of voice not the words spoken that make all the difference in the world. 

Here are some bad tones: 

You get the idea.  We must say our words with complete humility and gentleness; with patience, bearing with one another in love.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Tone of voice counts as a dart.

Kibitzing Darts
Let’s go from my least favorite to my soap box dart.  This is the one that is the most annoying to me; the kibitzing dart. This is a violation my third law, which states, “Nobody wants your advice.”  Isn’t it hurtful when you have spent hours and hours thinking about a problem and someone comes up and states the obvious, like you are some kind of moron who would not have thought of the obvious?  The kibitzer walks up and in 3 seconds assumes he is smarter than you and has thought of something you haven’t in 3 hours or 3 days or 3 weeks.

I think Jesus was annoyed at Kibitzer dart throwers.

Matthew 7:1-5 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.  3 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?   How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

The person who wants to give you advice and assumes you are stupid is the one with the plank in his own eye. Granted, this dart may not cut as deep as some of the other darts we are about to look at, but it certainly communicates to others that you think they are less than intelligent. 

Teasing Darts
The teasing dart is a tricky one.  Some people have been raised in families which tease as a means of showing affection.  I tend to tease people I like.  If I have a nickname for you that means I like you and that nickname is my way of expressing affection.  I call my newest grandson, Bob.  His name is Zachary Robert and that is not too affectionate so I call him Bob.  We tease a lot and poke fun at each other.

But where I get in trouble is teasing people who grew up in a different kind of family, where teasing was always a put down and an insult.  In an attempt to be funny and express fondness, I often throw a dart to the heart.  So, here is the rule, don’t tease unless you know the other person well enough to know how it will be taken and then be careful.

There is certainly an ugly side of this dart.  Every kid who has gone to public school knows the hurt of malicious teasing.  Have you noticed that a lot of humor is at the expense of someone?  Many jokes make fun of someone or some group of people. 

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.  Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mothership.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are manic-bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep or before the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.  If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.  If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.  Our operators are too busy to talk with you anyway. 

Why is that funny?  It makes fun of people.  Watch and you will see that I am right.  There is a verse that has haunted me for years.

Proverbs 26:18-19   Like a maniac who shoots deadly firebrands and arrows, so is one who deceives a neighbor and says, "I am only joking!"

You can’t take back teasing.  Don’t be the madman shooting fiery arrows into the hearts of people you should love.

Gossipy Darts
Next there is another hard one; the Gossipy dart.  As Christians most of us know that gossip is wrong.  We are aware of…

Romans 1:29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips.

Proverbs 26:22 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts.

Because we know this is wrong we often only have a few people we do it with.  We would never say in public what we might say to just one other close friend.  Isn’t that odd?  It is in the close friendships that we hurt others with gossip.  Unity is often destroyed, not by the upfront, but the behind the back darts!  The rule I heard was, don’t say anything about people that you wouldn’t want to be quoted as saying in the newspaper. 

Angry Darts
There are lots of scriptures about the angry dart.

Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. 

James 1:19-20 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,  for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

James 1:26  If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

Ephesians 4:25-27  Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.  "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

We must not allow our anger to move us to say things that can’t be taken back. 

Intentional Darts
I hesitate to even mention this one because I don’t think any of us would do this; the intentional dart.  Surely, none of us are hateful and vindictive and mean enough to intentionally hurt another with a premeditated dart.  But I know they exist. 

1 John 2:9-11  Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness.  Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble.  But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.

If you have a problem hating someone, you need to work that out of your heart.  Perhaps you need to go back and read my sermons on forgiveness.  Surely, don’t ever throw that intentional dart. 

Internal Darts
There is one more kind of dart that if I gave you a while, you probably wouldn’t guess it.  But it is the one I struggle with the most. It is what I call internal darts.  Do you know what I’m talking about?   It is the kind of internal dialogue where I put down other people.  I create lists of things that aggravate me about others.  “This person did that and he probably did it just to spite me.  Then he did this and I don’t know what he was thinking.  I can’t believe he would act that way.”  On and on this internal dialogue of darts criticizes others. I may never say anything to that person or anyone else or even acknowledge to anyone that I have had these thoughts about them but it cuts to my heart and damages my relationship with them.  It damages my feelings of unity and warmth and fellowship with them. I think Jesus had something like this in mind in Matthew 12.

Matthew 12:33-37   "Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.  34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.  35 The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.  36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.  37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

From within our heart our words come.  If we repeat internal darts long enough they will be stored in our hearts and then one day when we least expect it, they will pop out and condemn us.  We must monitor our internal dialogue and not even throw darts there.
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Let me wrap this up and connect it to today. Here is how dart throwing ties into Mother’s Day.  Didn’t every mother say, “If you don’t have something good to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Paul wraps this up a few verses after our theme verse. 

Ephesians 4:29-32  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

If we ever expect to achieve unity within the body of Christ we need to treat each other, within our families, among our friends, with our congregation, and to other Christians and even our community with the bearing with each other in love that is the bases of not throwing darts.